Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
