And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
