I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he fucked my hip out of place.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
