my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
