and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
