thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
