I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
