i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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