Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
