He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize