she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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