at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize