I bet he comes in French.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
