You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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