Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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