Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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