You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
