man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
They are going to name an STD after you.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
