Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Randomize
