I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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