Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
