So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
