The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
