You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
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