is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
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