I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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