some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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