after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize
