It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize