I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
