Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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