Kiss
Puke
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
