You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
