You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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