Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
