It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
