brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
