Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
