Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
