am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
