Will you blow on my dice?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
