piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
