The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize