I hate all girls vehemently.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
