Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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