awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
ugly people sure do ruin things
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
