I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
