I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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