what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
