My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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