You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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