i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
