we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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