Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
