well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
