I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
