so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize