I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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