I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just gift wrapped bread.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
